Yes. That’s right. I’m evil. Not slaughter innocent children and torture small animals evil mind you, but evil enough to evidently be banned from talking to my sister on Sundays.
Yes. That’s right. Banned. You see, under the [iron-fisted] reign of my ever [un]knowledgeable stepfather, all sorts of things are evil. Apparently, that now includes talking to family members. I don’t mind so much, since my sister’s not extremely talkative, but it does remind me of how glad I am to be out on my own.
For the sake of fairness, I must point out that this rule is probably targeted more toward using the internet in general on Sundays, but it still seems really ridiculous, especially when you consider everything that is banned on Sunday in the Pincock/Haslem/Horrocks (our family is complicated) household:
- TV – An obvious one, since Satan himself has control of television. Praise the Lord we, as a family, did not have to experience the awful, awful monstrosity that was the Jackson Super Bowl Boob affair. Such things are simply proof (literally – this is the way my stepfather described it) that God does not condone watching television on Sunday, and probably doesn’t condone football at large… or women.
- Music – Yes, not only is the hard core punk rock banned, but Lord of the Rings classical soundtracks as well. If it’s not that one Yanni disc in Rick’s CD player, God does not approve.
- Reading – This one should be obvious. If it wasn’t written by Jesus, it wasn’t written for Sunday.
- Movies – An obvious extension of the no-TV, since it is simply a long television show without the commercials.
- Eating – Duh. Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights straight. You can’t deny logic of not eating on Sunday.
- Using any electronic device – Those Quakers sure have the right idea. We didn’t spend too many Sunday nights in candlelight, but this seemed to be the trend that would eventually become a rule.
The list goes on, but I’m sure you get the idea. It’s probably simpler to just make a complete list of approved activities:
- Going to Church
- Breathing (obviously secondary to the first item)
What is there to do on Sundays like that? Don’t ask me. I don’t live there any more. I’m evil now.
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