David’s Ramblings

I’m sorry, I’m getting used to my new class schedule and all right now, so I’m not going to take the time to give you a real update, but that’s okay because nobody comes here to read what I say, they’re just visiting because all the cool kids are. Besides, I’ve got something better Ð pictures!

Alyssa looks cute, even when she’s squinting.

My brother making sure pilots discredit his calls for help when he’s stranded for real on a desert island.

My uncle holding the newest addition to his family.

My aunt hiding behind my little cousin Reagan.

My newest little cousin, Isabel. Did I spell that right Bruce?

Matt, my younger brother(/sister). He gets a bit of crap for his long hair, but I think it looks pretty cool.

My sister Alyssa should model for an advertising agency.

Joe’s cutest smile. You think he looks bad here, you should see when he’s not smiling.

My bed and the desk underneath.

My roommate Tom’s setup. We call it the cave.

Our quaint little dorm room, as looked upon by the people from out in the hall.

This is my desk when in one of it’s cleaner moments.

And, of course, me. Not that any of you wanted to see me. It’s not like this is my blog or anything.

So there you have it. Now, time to do my hiragana homework.

Excerpt I found in a respectable scientific journal like Mad Magazine:

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WoW. It’s the new pr0n. Startling new evidence from the Department of Agriculture has confirmed, after much devoted research (some of it probably far too in-depth) that internet pornography is losing it’s edge. Just in the nick of time for the nerds too it’d seem Ð since parents were starting to realize what the word pr0n meant. The interesting part is it’s unlikely replacement Ð the game World of Warcraft.

This shocking graph tells a disturbing picture Ð one that puts all that “internet smut” (ª) in the trash, along with those that make a living from it, as early as 2009, which is just in time for Blizzard to release it’s sequel to World of Warcraft entitled, “No More Jokes, Just Heroin” which comes pre-packaged with a needle.

With their newfound addiction to World of Warcraft, nerds find themselves no longer in need of their beloved pr0n. One such nerd was quoted as saying: “d00d, that guild robe thingy totally makes my undead boobs bigger. W00t lol roflmao [1337-speak translation: I'm so never going to get laid, better enjoy this while I can].” There’s one nerd that won’t be needing any more porn.

“With all the time spent trying to my character to level 39, who has time for sex?” questions Banana Splits, a somewhat-well-known adult actress. “I sure don’t. Good thing too, because now I can catch up with all of my old fans and go on a dungeon run.”

So, in short, you may want to hold on to some of those secret files you’ve got stashed on your hard drive (under C:/Documents and Settings/User/Faxes/important/dontlook/confidential), because they’re about to become collector’s items. Porn is on the out. World of Warcraft is on the way in. With an addiction to WoW, who needs anything else?

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I agree whole-heartedly. Really, who needs things like blogs?

I got sucked into World of Warcraft this week, and, well, it’s stolen my soul. It really is addicting. I was tempted to try and get a wireless signal from bed and play it instead of writing this post. Awesome game. Give it a try if you’re not afraid of the distinct possibility of never again leaving the computer. 4.8¹ / 900¼

Oh, and yes, I’m sure someone else has already done this kind of article somewhere on the net.

PS, if you’re Blizzard, don’t hate/sue me, I love your game. I was just joking around, honest. Please don’t delete my level 14 ‘lock! I love him!

I’ve got a movie review for today Ð King Kong and the Chocolate Factory. This movie is a remake of the classic movie telling the tale of an ape of alarming stature that falls in love with a man named Willy Wonka, the famous chocolateer.

I must say I was slightly disturbed with all of the shocking views this movie portrayed to the public. From Charlie’s sicko grandparents that all share the same bed and get freaky with each other, to the blatant love affair between Jane Goodall and the monkey behind Willy Wonka’s back (don’t even try to ask how she was able to pull off such things with an ape that size), this movie was full of adult content that was completely unsuitable for children.

Of course, there were good parts as well. I thought it was awesome to watch the jungle explorers being trampled by the Oompa Loompas. The graphics were amazing in that scene. And when that annoying TV kid was swallowed by that T-Rex, I think most everyone cheered. We were all happy to see that character go.

Speaking of cheering, the people behind us at this movie were extremely good at it. We couldn’t go ten seconds without an “ooohhhh” or “aaaaahhhh”. They were obviously very impressed with what was on the screen. So much so, you might have thought that they believed what they were watching to be actual footage or something. It’s like they’d never heard of claymation and it’s growing ability to display realistic scenes.

All in all, I very much enjoyed this movie, even with all of the blatantly taboo sex between elderly people, midgets, and large animals. I give it 8¹ to split between the two when King Kong and Willy Wonka finally file for their divorce.