It’s been a while since I’ve posted, so I figured I needed to get around to writing something. I wanted to write about something profound, but alas, I have nothing I care enough to write about. However, at the oh-so-wise age of 18, I have learned a large amount of nothing which I have decided to impart on you as readers.
I give you “David’s Guide to Life”:
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Life sucks. Yes, I know it does.
It seems a common teenage (and, perhaps more so, human) trait to complain about how life sucks whenever opportunity arises (or more often than that, in the case of emo kids). As such, I’m often asked by my friends two-part questions somewhat along these lines: “Oh wise one (I’m often called this by people that know me), what knowledge you give me to live my life and make it less sucky? And may I give you one million dollars?”
So, what follows are instructions of how to live a boring and uneventful life so much like mine that you can’t help but be unable to complain. Now everyone can bask in the wisdom that I dole out. I know you’re all on the edge of your seat.
The Basics
Let’s start with the basics. Life can be oh so much less interesting (and certainly less stressful) if you just stop caring. Unfortunately, there’s a certain finesse to properly applying this method that many people miss. This finesse is the basic difference between “Hmm… let’s go smoke more pot and sleep in my parent’s basement,” and “Hmm… I guess I’ll just have to try a different method for curing cancer.”
Just kidding. Actually, the real secret to life is…
*End of preview. The rest of this inspirational guide can be yours for only $19.95!*
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I considered writing more, but class was about to start. Maybe if all two of my readers ask for more I’ll get around to finishing it sometime.
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